When marriage is stale, it’s not fun for anyone. We all know what it’s like when your marriage gets into a rut. So how do we keep our marriage from getting there?
How do you know when your marriage is getting stale?
Afton: My husband loves routine. When things are out of whack that’s when he’s most miserable and makes him anxious.
CJ: I would agree—we have a routine in our marriage. But when we’re stuck in that routine too long or start skipping things that are usually in our marriage routine we get in a rut.
Ted: For us it’s when we’re too busy and haven’t had any fun.
When we got married we wanted to have a great, full marriage. Then life happens. There’s work, home, kids, differences. Married people get serious and things get more complicated and often people don’t think to work on their marriage unless it’s broken.
Replace the word marriage with something else
First, the word ‘marriage’ often comes with baggage. What if we replaced the word ‘marriage’ with ‘love’? And what does that have to do with keeping our marriage from getting stale?
The reputation of marriage is that it is stale. But what would it look like if we went back to what we wanted before we got married?
Your one simple thing this week:
For the next seven days, do one small loving thing for them each day… or just pick one and do that. You may have your own ideas, if not, here are a few to get you started:
- Monday: Leave a love note your spouse will find when you are not around
- Tuesday: Ask your spouse, “What is one thing I can do to help you today?” Then do it
- Wednesday: Pay your spouse a compliment
- Thursday: Buy them a small gift
- Friday: Say something great about your spouse in front of someone else
- Saturday: Do one chore your spouse normally does
- Sunday: Make a list of five things that make your spouse great
Warning: Believe it or not, these things can start a fight—especially if you do it expecting them to reciprocate. Do it because you are committed and not because you expect anything back.
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