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We’re excited to be talking about how we make decisions in our marriage! There is a spectrum of decisions to make—everything from who is getting the groceries, to whether or not to make a cross-country move.

The Tension

Decisions are tough for many couples.

  • Some decisions are really big ones and a lot hangs in the balance.
  • Some decisions matter more to one spouse than the other.
  • There’s the question of how should a decision should be made—how quickly do we make the decision, whose advice do we take, etc.?
  • Sometimes you simply disagree about what decision should be made.

The common denominator is that, in the middle of these decisions, someone doesn’t feel loved and someone doesn’t feel respected. Which can often happen when we don’t feel heard or understood and take it personally.

The Truth

Most decisions aren’t life and death, but they do bring life or death to our relationship.

At the end of the day, ask yourself, “does my spouse feel heard?”

Proverbs 18:1-2 says “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

This all takes a level of awareness and humility to approach your spouses in a way that helps them. Do they just need to talk it out? Do they need help solving a problem?

Your one simple thing for this week

Use a scale to help understand how important a decision is to your spouse. On a scale of 1-10 do you:

  • Hate it or love it?
  • Don’t care or really care?

Show Closing

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