Today, we’re talking about dating your spouse. Date night can sometimes feel formal or forced. Sometimes it’s tough to just make the time. Most of us know that dating is a good thing, but it’s difficult to make it happen.
What are some of the barriers to going on dates?
Afton: Babysitting. Not that an 8th grader needs to be babysat but he does need someone.
CJ: It takes energy to want to get re-dressed after work and go out somewhere. It’s easier to just veg on the couch for a few hours.
What defines a date? Is watching TV at home considered a date?
CJ: A date is when our attention is more on each other than on something else.
Ted: What works for the two of you? There are some common things like limited disruptions, but a date is what connects you and what you enjoy doing together. We like to run together, or going to the movies.
The Two Tanks
When it comes to marriage, there are two tanks—the ‘love tank’ and the ‘like tank’. The love tank is when we go to work to provide for our family or forgive an offense.
The like tank is different, but just as important—when we cook our spouse a meal, we listen to them, when we laugh together. We can’t forget to do the things that make our spouse like us.
Afton: Sometimes I think we know each other too well. Like when we ask each other about those gross personal things, like an ankle rash. It can be nice to go out and just pretend we’re back at only knowing each other for three months.
Why are dates important?
- Taking time for date night gives you experiences together that you can look back on more fondly. It’s good to have those times in the bank.
- It can also be a good time for a check in on how you two are doing.
- Connection leads to words. Sometimes it’s going out and doing something together.
Is there something deeper than just a reconnect with your spouse?
Ted: The thing I love about dating actually comes from Proverbs 5:18-19. The best way to protect your marriage is to enjoy your marriage. We don’t hear that enough.
How do you get the ball rolling if you haven’t been doing a date night?
- Have a daily dialogue to catch up with your spouse—even 10 or 15 minutes. That way, you check in with your spouse daily and then you don’t have to spend your date on those things.
- Have a plan, but a flexible plan. Plan out the who, the what, the where, the when and the how. It takes a little bit of planning.
One simple thing for this week.
We’ve created a date that you just have to download. It’s a lot of fun and really easy. Download the date night and plan it with your spouse!
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At Married People, we want to help make marriage real, fun, and simple. Because when your marriage is better, everything is better. We do that with weekly blog posts, podcast episodes, ebooks, and other awesome resources for couples everywhere.
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