Today we’re going to discuss how to become our best US. Longtime listeners of the podcast know that Ted wrote a book by the same title because every US is different – What if we really celebrated that God makes all of our marriages really different?
The book has four foundational principles and habits that help marriages. We tend to believe marriage is really complicated, but Ted’s book (and this podcast) is about helping couples see that marriage is easier than you think.
Core 4 Habits to Make Your Marriage Better
1. Have Serious Fun
People think that it’s ‘extra’ to have fun, not essential. The best way to protect your marriage is to enjoy it!
CJ: Typically, our serious fun is puzzles and games, but we actually have our first dance lesson tonight!
Afton: Our serious fun is almost always going to the movies. But usually date night is dinner – though I can have fun anywhere!
Ted: I have a surprise for you two! I got you both 2 for $22 Chili’s gift cards! Where can you have more fun than Chili’s? We love Chili’s!
2. Love God First
I know it’s weird to put ‘Love God First’ second, but I believe that laughter and humor open the heart to deeper things. If you start with laughter it can lead to deeper things.
When we connect with God first on our own, it postures us to love our spouse in a way we can’t love them on our own.
3. Respect and Love
There’s a circular relationship between respect and love – when we feel respected we tend to be more loving, and around it goes. Both genders need respect AND love; though typically men value respect the most while women value love.
Studies show that men’s core vulnerability is shame, which is the opposite of respect. And women’s core vulnerability is fear and love is the opposite of that.
4. Practice Your Promise
Marriage isn’t about the ‘big day’; it’s about the every day. Practice what you promised on a daily basis!
Your one simple thing for this week: pick one of the four and focus on that for the week.
CJ: I’ve already answered mine, which was to have more serious fun and start our dance class.
Afton: I want to have serious fun this week, because sometimes you can get stuck in the everyday flow of things that you can forget to have fun. We just need to have some fun!
Ted: I think ours is actually to have serious fun as well. We have so much going on. I think we need to interject some fun. Maybe bring out my scuba diving suit.
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