by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
At a church near our home in Seattle, a Japanese couple that had recently arrived in the States, was getting married. Despite their limited exposure to western customs, the American-style wedding went well.
But when the minister invited the couple to kiss, nothing happened. Surprised, the minister turned to the bride and said, ”How about a little kiss?” Not wanting to offend, she shyly leaned forward and kissed the minister!
She’s not the first bride to be confused by kissing. A kiss can mean different things at different times . . .
I missed you
I love you
I’m in the mood
and so on.
But perhaps the sweetest of all kisses is the good night kiss that says I’m going to be missing you even while I sleep. Remember when you were dating each other and how difficult it was to say good night after a date? You’d say goodnight countless times with just as many kisses.
Poets and lyricists have done their best to capture the magic and mystery of a kiss. But we think a brief line from the book of Proverbs says it best: An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips (Proverbs 24:26 NIV).
Solomon, in all his wisdom, equaled a kiss on the lips to an honest answer. When we are kissing our spouse on the lips, especially as a way to say “good night,” we are conveying our honest feelings. It’s a kind of lover’s short hand to the questions we rarely articulate but deeply feel:
- Do you still love me, in spite of all the mistakes I make?
- Do you still want to be with me when I burn the toast, leave my clothes on the floor, and all the rest?
A kiss on the lips is a way of honestly answering in the affirmative these unspoken questions.
So give kissing some special consideration. Don’t take it for granted. “Soul meets soul on lover’s lips,” says poet Percy Bysshe Selley. So don’t kiss flippantly. Give one another a real good kiss and then enjoy the intimacy of a couple whose love is as honest as their hearts.
Reflect and Respond
Where and when was your most memorable kiss as a married couple? Or when do kisses matter most to you?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
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I absolutely love when I am in the kitchen- cooking or doing dishes and Shannon comes up behind me, tenderly kisses my neck and then turns me around and kisses me in such a way that he conveys a message of thank you, I missed you, I love you, I’m here for you- all in a single moment and act of love.
Another sort of safety testing, Vulnerability testing, allows evaluating the entire quantum of involved risks.