My wife Ashley and I have had the privilege of doing marriage ministry for many years. In our travels and speaking and online ministry, we’re often asked “What’s your all-time favorite marriage advice?”
It’s a tough question, because it’s nearly impossible to limit the best advice to one sentence. The “best” advice for a couple is usually based on their current struggles and the season of life they’re in. Below, I’ve put together a list of my all-time favorite marriage advice.
These 30 pieces of marriage wisdom are in no particular order, but if you’ll apply them to your marriage it could make an immediate impact.
- Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.
- Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.
- Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.
- Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.
- Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
- In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution
- Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak. (This is one of the many wise nuggets from my amazing wife, Ashley!)
- Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!
- Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50. Divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!
- Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.
- Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!
- Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
- Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.
- Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
- When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
- When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”
- Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.
- Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives. Have the kind of marriage that makes your kids excited to be married someday.
- Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.
- Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.
- Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!
- Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.
- Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it. Prayer is one of the most intimate acts a couple can experience together.
- When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!
- Don’t assume you know what your spouse is thinking and feeling. Ask him/her. Talk openly and honestly about your struggles. LISTEN when he/she is talking to you.
- Remember that your spouse doesn’t always need your advice. Sometimes, he/she just needs a hug and a listening ear. Being there for him/her communicates more than your words ever could.
- Find some marriage mentors who are further along than you are an have the kind of marriage and family you hope to have someday. If your inner circle are people who love you, love your spouse, love God and love marriage, your marriage is going to benefit. If your closest relationships are people who are negative influences, that will undoubtedly hurt your marriage.
- Don’t keep score. Forgive quickly. the Bible says that “…love keeps no record of wrongs.” A marriage can only survive when Grace flows freely.
- Remember than a husband and wife must function like two wings on the same bird. You must work together in partnership or the marriage will never soar.
- Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!
Reposted with permission. Read the original article here.
Dave and Ashley Willis are founders of the Facebook Marriage page and The Marriage and Family Foundation, Inc.
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