It can be easy to think that our marriage is just about the two of us. We may not think our marriage matters to other people, but when you flip it around it shows the weight. For example, “Do other marriages matter to you?”. Of course they do!
The Tension: It’s easy to think that our marriage is just about the two of us
We’re not suggesting you show off your marriage on social media with more beach posts and bragging. In fact, we’re not big fans of that! But it does mean that it’s important to surround yourself with people who help lift up your marriage, and vice versa.
Having a support system is so important, because our marriages impact so many people – from our kids to the economy.
- Marriage matters to kids and teenagers
- This is true even if you don’t have your own kids. The kids in your circles are still watching your marriage!
- “Kids pay close attention to their parents’ emotions for information about how safe they are in the family” (Mark Cummings, Notre Dame University psychologist). In other words, if mom and dad aren’t okay with each other, kids don’t feel safe.
- On the flip side of this, Cummings says that, “When kids witness a fight and see the parents resolving it, they’re actually happier than they were before they saw it”.
- Marriage matters to your friends and family
- An April 2014 joint study from Brown University, Yale University and the University of California, San Diego, found that people are 75% more likely to be divorced if one of their friends or close family members are divorced. Sociologists call the phenomenon “social contagion”—the spread of information, attitudes and behaviors through friends, families and other social networks.
- But on the positive side, people with more supportive friends in their social network are less likely to divorce.
Truth: The Health of your marriage is contagious.
Your one simple thing for this week: With your spouse in earshot, say something positive about them.
Let your spouse hear you bragging on them to someone else! It’s really powerful for you and for them.
Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast! We hope today’s episode helped you realize that marriage is a little easier than you may think. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better.
If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org. Finally – we hope you’ll join us next week as we ask the question, “Can you support your spouse when you don’t agree with them?”