It’s a little bit of a weird question. One of the great things about marriage is that we can be ourselves – we can let our guard down and be comfortable. We can use that comfort to damage our relationship if we’re not careful, and we find ourselves saying things to our significant other that we wouldn’t say to anyone else.
The Tension: When we let our guard down, we let our guard down.
Often we’re more ourselves with our spouse than our coworkers because we can be, but it can be easy to take advantage of that situation and say things that are hurtful.
Be highly aware – am I using the comfort and intimacy of marriage in a way that isn’t loving?
We need to protect our spouse from us, because our words and actions have greater potential to hurt them than anyone else in their lives.
Truth: James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry; because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Let’s be smart, kind, gentle, authentic. But remember, our spouse is the number one person in our lives and they need this from us.
If your spouse is going to know a life where they are treated with kindness and respect, it’s because you choose to make that life possible.
Your one simple thing for this week: Ask yourself – when do I need to listen, when do I need to be slow to speak, when do I need to be slow to be angry?
You can pick one and take time to pause and focus on that. If you need to listen more, be conscious of asking questions and then pausing to let your spouse speak. A trick for this – ask your spouse a question and then take a drink while they reply. It forces you to pause and listen!
We would love to hear from you if you have any tips or tricks for any of these practices!
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