Show Notes

No one ever says, “I’ve got too much time on my hands!” We all have super busy schedules – and our family/marriage ends up at the center of the busyness. So now what? We talk with Frank and Jessica about how they balance their busy schedules.

Frank is the Executive Director of Leadership Development at Orange. Earlier this year he released his first book, “The Myth of Balance.” Jessica has been leading children’s ministry for 17 years and authored her latest book “Don’t Quit”. Frank and Jessica have four children.

Interview with Frank and Jessica

The Tension: Life, career and family can be all consuming leaving little time for couples to connect.

We’ve worked hard to find a time in our schedule that’s a ‘pocket of intimacy’.

  • We take a walk at night after dinner. It’s our time to connect about the day, and it gives us both a time when we know we can talk about the things on our mind.
  • This has to be a time of day that works for both of you. Dinnertime just doesn’t work for us right now due to kids’ sports schedules, but we know at the end of the day we can connect on our walk.
  • When you are connecting, it is important for each spouse to be clear about whether they want the other person to ‘fix it or feel it’. Often, men want to jump in and fix problems, but women tend to want them to just listen and feel it. Ask specifically for what you’re wanting!
  • I (Jessica) have learned to ask specifically for Frank to give me a couple of ideas about the problem I’m facing. This helps me get his insight without him having to fix it for me.

Your one simple thing for this week: Find a pocket of time to connect as a couple each day.

This should be something you both enjoy! And once you find something that works, commit to it and put it on your calendar.

Afton: I’m going to commit to spending 15 minutes doing something fun. If I can play Mario Cart with Hudson, we’ll get to talking.

CJ: I’ve decided to spend my first 30 minutes at home each day putting my cell phone down and spending the time with Teri. Sometimes it’s making dinner or hanging out, but just connecting.

Ted: We spend time connecting while we’re getting ready in the morning. We also like to connect over the show This is Us.

Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast! We hope today’s episode helped you realize that marriage is a little easier than you may think. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better.

If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org.  You can find Jessica’s book, Don’t Quit, here, and don’t forget to check out her blog. Frank’s book, The Myth of Balance, is here.

This is the last episode of 2017 for us! We’ll be back in 2018. Enjoy your Christmas!

Robert Carnes is the editor on the MarriedPeople team. He’s worked in marketing and communications for a number of churches and nonprofits. Robert lives in Atlanta with his wife, Victoria.