Today we’re talking with Stuart Hall about this question. But before we do, Ted has a little surprise for Afton and CJ – Ted reached out to their spouses and asked them some questions. Tune in to hear how they answered, and who won the prize for knowing their spouse the best (the prize being a gift card to Chili’s, of course)!
Interview with Stuart Hall
Stuart Hall provides leadership and vision for XP3 – the student division of Orange. He is the author of 3 books, and travels and speaks to thousands of students, leaders, coaches and parents each year.
Stuart: Intimacy is to know and be known without any fear of rejection. This is intimacy in all forms – sexual, but also emotional, spiritual, etc. Our relationship went to a different level when we really started being honest and pulling back our layers with each other.
The Tension: Letting our spouses know us can be uncomfortable. Allowing our spouse to be honest with us about us is not easy to hear.
Stuart: The more honest you can be with each other, the more intimate you can be.
Ted: Do you have an example of how this has gone?
Stuart: I inherited facial expressions and tone that are so disrespectful. It probably didn’t have as much weight when we didn’t have children, but watching our son (who many times thinks he’s right, and more times than not is right) and his face/body language – one time, Kelly confronted me about something he did, and said that he got it from me. And she was right, as painful as it was to hear.
Perspective is the cruelest form of reality – it doesn’t matter how you meant it, it’s how it was received!
Truth: Intimacy is defined as to know and be known without fear of rejection.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
I Corinthians 15:12
So where do we start with this path to deeper honesty/intimacy?
Your one simple thing for this week: Finish this sentence: “I really like it when you ______.” And then tell your spouse.
Afton: Every morning, Hudson brings me coffee wherever I am. It’s a micro-move, a throwback to episode 1!
CJ: I like it when Teri sends me silly snap chats. It’s about the small things!
Ted: I really like it when Nancie laughs at my jokes.
Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast! We hope today’s episode helped you realize that marriage is a little easier than you may think. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better.
If you want more resources, check out Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org. Afton has a product called the Lead Small Ice Breaker Box. You can follow Stuart on Twitter to hear more from him!
Finally – we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode, “How do I stay connected with my spouse despite the craziness of life?”