If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a little while, you may remember that one of our hosts, CJ, and his wife, Teri, have been trying to get pregnant for some time. They’re thrilled to announce that they’re expecting their first child later this year. Joining us on the podcast again this week is our producer, Robert, whose wife is also pregnant.
There are a lot of great joys in having a baby, but there are also plenty challenges that come with it. We’re going to share some practical conversations to have before the baby is born. If you’re expecting a new baby, or know someone else who is, these questions can help you prepare your marriage for the unexpected.
What do you fear most about having a newborn?
Clarity keeps us connected, so the more you can talk this through beforehand the better. It’s OK to have some fears about having a baby, but the most important thing is you communicated them with your spouse ahead of time.
One of the greatest questions a husband can ask is about mom’s recovery.
In the excitement of having a baby, the new mom’s recovery—both physical and mental—can be overlooked. But mom’s body and spirit have gone through during pregnancy and childbirth and it shouldn’t be neglected.
So husbands, what’s your plan for taking care of your wife when the baby is born? And wives—it’s OK to take of yourself, too.
Talk about the tasks we should include on a to-do list.
When you have a new baby there are a lot of tasks. List out all the tasks and start talking about who is going to do what and when. Ask each other what tasks you’re looking forward to the most and which ones you dread the most.
How do we get enough sleep—both for baby and for you?
What are the baby sleep arrangements? How do we plan to get baby to sleep or back to sleep – there are a lot of different ways people do this. One of the best books we’ve seen on this is Moms on Call—it talks about how to get your kids on a good sleep schedule.
Another question to ask is who is going to feed the baby and when? How are you going to handle the night feedings? How are you each going to get the most amount of sleep possible?
It’s important to talk about roles.
There are some things that are stereotypically different between a new mom and dad. This may not be the case for you, but it’s good to ask. Ask your spouse what they think will be their biggest challenge as a new parent, and what are they looking forward to most?
Your one simple thing for this week.
Sit down with your spouse and ask each other these questions. Have an honest discussion that can help lead to clarity and connection.
Thanks for joining us for the MarriedPeople Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review—they help us make the podcast better.
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