It can come as a complete shock to learn that your spouse is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Your first reaction will probably be to wonder why she didn’t tell you about it a long time ago. But what you need to understand is how personal, private, and petrifying this secret is to a survivor. There is never a good time to say something like, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I was raped when I was nine” or “It’s about time I told you that my father molested me for about seven years of my childhood.” That’s just something it’s never easy to say.
It happened to us, and it may have happened to you. I know that it hurts, but please hear this: you do not have to hurt alone. Your marriage will make it through the pain of this miscarriage. Your spouse is with you. It is imperative that you recognize the weight and necessity of choosing to have naked conversations through this messy circumstance.
For obvious reasons, pretty much every single one of us struggles in how to best communicate and resolve conflict. This plays out in marriage, friendships, work relationships, community, and parenting.
Literally speaking, I live with a handyman. So things do get fixed more than they used to. And living with my best friend has been of the most meaningful gifts I’ve known. But there are just some things he can’t, and our marriage can’t, fix.
Not talking about finances is one of the biggest money mistakes couples can make. So it’s important to learn how to talk about it. Here are 5 tips to help.
Through time I’ve come to realize it’s not just about what you say but also how you say it. And in a marriage or dating relationship, I’ve realized the mentality of needing to win is poison. It can and will destroy any relationship.