For obvious reasons, pretty much every single one of us struggles in how to best communicate and resolve conflict. This plays out in marriage, friendships, work relationships, community, and parenting.

The struggle is real.

  • How can we speak to each other in a more loving tone?
  • What do you do when you know you need to ask for forgiveness, but you just don’t want to?
  • Why can’t others see things the way I see them?

We can learn a few lessons from Paul’s words in Colossians 3:12-13.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.”

What can we learn from Paul?

1. Put On Humility

Some of us look good in certain outfits, but not so good in others. Some might like bright colors and others dark colors. But, one thing is for certain—we all look good when we wear humility.

James 4:6 says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want God to ‘resist me.’

2. Try On Compassion, Kindness, and Gentleness

Too many times this weekend I did not love my wife and kids with a spirit of compassion, kindness, or gentleness.

In fact, I lived as if I tore those garments off and instead put on harshness, anger, and a critical spirit. It’s the kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Be kind to one another.

3. Remember To Be Patient With Everyone

Paul tells his readers to put on patience. Doesn’t he know I don’t have the time for that (pun intended)? In 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Paul writes, “And we exhort you, brothers and sisters: warn those who are idle, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

Sometimes we warn, other times we comfort, and sometimes we help. But, we’re always to be patient, with everyone. I would have done well to put on some patience this past weekend.

4. Forgive In The Same Way The Lord Has Forgiven Us

Often we only want to forgive if the other person has forgiven us. We hold a lack of forgiveness over others because we don’t want them to get away with anything. But, I need to be reminded of the way the Lord has forgiven me. I need to remember that He doesn’t forgive me not because I deserve it or did anything to earn it.

Rather, God’s forgiveness is unconditional. A Christ-like forgiveness goes first and doesn’t wait for the other person to seek forgiveness first. I acted like an eight-year-old this weekend as I waited for my kids to apologize to me before I apologized and sought forgiveness from them.

5. Remember How #1-4 Happen In The First Place

Last, but certainly not least, remember how you do these things. You do them as one who is chosen, holy, and dearly loved. This passage from Paul is not just a to-do list.

We’re unable to do these things on our own apart from God’s grace and His Spirit (John 15:5). We wear humility, treat others with compassion, and forgive others because we’re God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved.

Reposted with permission. Read the original article here.

Scott Kedersha is a follower of Jesus, hubby to @boymomkk, dad to four awesome boys and the marriage pastor at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas.