Recently, my wife and I were doing some pre-marital counseling with a wonderful couple, who used to be in our youth group. We were talking about the fact that good marriages aren’’t accidental——they require hard work.

It’’s easy to see that many people struggle and get discouraged when they try to explain their own lack of effort toward dating and romance of their spouse.

Excuses Why Not To Date Your Spouse

I’’ve heard all types of excuses.— Here’ are the 10 most common ones:

  1. What are we going to do with the children?
  2. I don’’t have enough time.
  3. Dating costs too much money.
  4. There’’s plenty to do at home.
  5. I’’m too tired.
  6. I’’m too busy
  7. There’’s nothing to do where we live•
  8. We can’’t ever get good baby-sitters.
  9. It’’s too cold/hot/muggy outside.•
  10. I’’ve got too much to do around the house.

Those are all true. We’’re experts at creating excuses to avoid taking actions that require effort.

I could think of 10 reasons for not getting out of bed this morning, and another 20 for not wanting to work. Excuses can abound, but eventually the pressures of reality force me into action.

The urgency of life tells me I’’d better get out of bed and get working or I’’ll end up with no where to work! I’’m forced to do what I should, regardless of my excuses. That’’s reality.

The Consequences of Not Dating

In marriage, the consequences of my excuses aren’t nearly as tangible or immediate. If I don’’t take Cathy out on a date night, so what? Life will go on. I’’ll still be employed. I’‘m not forced to make any special effort toward our relationship because there appears to be no urgency.

Marriages that live with no sense of urgency in their passion and commitment to continuing to date one another or improve their relationship …will eventually dry up. Need proof? Look at the divorce rate.

Why not jump start your marriage? Do what it takes to bring a little romance and dating back into your marriage. In the face of all the excuses, why not make something happen? Don’’t wait for your spouse to initiate—you start.

What’’s your “default” excuse for not dating your spouse?

Reposted with permission. Read the original article here.

Doug Fields is a youth ministry veteran and a leader in the marriage world. Doug is the co-author of MarriedPeople: How Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last. You can follow Doug on Twitter @DougFields.

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